Honor Thy Mother and Father

And that jumble of grandparents, great grandparents, and all of the rest of them.  Standing right behind you.  Whether you call it All Saint’s Day, Halloween, the Day of the Dead it is a time when those closest to us come through the veil, not to frighten but to bring blessings, share love, and allow you to connect with them on a deeper level.

Modern Witch tradition makes Halloween spooky, but the longer standing history is that this is a day of celebration with the loved ones who have helped shape you into the person you are today.  Even if there is hurt and pain associated with them, this is the time for amends to be made and family wounds to be healed.  From the harshest beginnings we are given the opportunity to thrive and evolve.  It is from the darkest moments that the greatest potential for light is created.

Ancestors are in our blood

Cultures all around the world revere ancestors as a large part of their spiritual practice.  In West African traditions, ancestor altars are created by the largest tree on your property or in the kitchen of your home.  In China, they create a high altar in the main room to watch over the family.  In Rome, they would have Spirit Houses by their front door for their ancestors to protect the family and home from evil entering.  Reclaiming or creating your own ancestor reverence helps ground you in your cultural roots and give you a strong base to grow from.  Why do you think we are in the midst of a ghost hunting craze?  We are disconnected from our foundation and need to find some way to reconnect with the spirit realm.

No matter what the story of your ancestors, they are in your blood and their actions got you here today.  When they pass in full from this world to the next they leave behind the issues, fears, and hurts that limited their ability to love while they were human.  Even the nastiest ancestor, once they pass on, is working on making amends for their negative actions.  Bringing blessings to you and your life are a way they can do that.  Put them to work!

Why it works

I have an ancestor altar in my office at Coventry.  I put it there rather than my home because I was in the midst of moving and was not sure how long I would be at the new place.  I needed a place where I could secure my roots; so in the office it went.  My people love it here.  Once I moved them all to my office and talk to them regularly, I discovered that many of them were entrepreneurs and risk takers in their lives.  From the Grandfather that my Dad never knew who started a machine shop that employed his whole family, to my Grandmother who ran a daycare out of her home after her husband died to keep all of her kids in decent schools.  They lend us the energy to weather any storm, resolve issues and general blessings.

My ancestors protected my old house until it was time to go, and then they pushed us out.  When there is a lot of negative influence in my life, my ancestors make themselves known and let me know to feed them energy so they could work in my life.  Glasses of water move from the counter to the floor and once a roast that flipped out of the roasting pan and slid across three door jambs to land in front of their altar.  Sometimes it’s pictures that move on their own or the door that opens on its own to show us where the item we were looking for was stored; in any case they talk to us.

Start your own tradition

You don’t have to subscribe to any one tradition, you can start your own, but there are a few key universal ingredients for an ancestral altar.

A place to start – You need a place that is only theirs.  This is where you build your altar and set your offerings to them.  It is a special, reverent place; not the junk collecting place.  This is not where you go through your mail or put your dirty shoes on.  Give them a place of honor in your life.

Pictures or items from your people - Let your ancestors know who you are talking to by adding their photo to your altar.  Make sure only people who have passed on are in the photos.  You can also add their name and birthdate or if that is not available put on a piece of paper “My beloved Ancestors; known and unknown.” No worries if you are adopted, you got to choose your family and they choose you – it’s even more powerful!

Water – A universal symbol of the communicating with the spirit world

Candle –This is a universal symbol of spirit, use it.  White is most often used, but if your grandma loved blue, honor her with a blue candle.

Flowers – This is another universal symbol of bringing the spirit world into the living.  A fresh bunch of flowers is an excellent offering for your ancestors to give them some physical energy to use in this world.

Treats – Your ancestors all had their favorite treats from cigarettes to candy (or maybe candy cigarettes) and leaving them an offering is a sign of love and respect.  Offerings give them energy to use to bring blessings into your life.

Food – Give them a little of Sunday dinner.  Giving them food, especially food they liked while living, is a boost to the energy they use to help you in your life.  You see, they need tangible physical energy to create tangible physical change in your life.

There are many traditional prayers to use, but I start with a simple invitation for them to join me and a little conversation.  I talk about what I learned about them, how they have helped me in my life and what struggles I am experiencing now.  I ask for their guidance and then spend quiet time in front of the altar in thanks for all that they have done.  The biggest ritual I do for my ancestors is collecting things over time that they enjoy.  For instance, I have a door lock that is in pieces for my Uncle Maury.  He was a locksmith and loved to re-key locks.  I learned my Grandmother Teeny loved angel food cake.  Whenever I find an individual size at the store, I know she wants to talk to me.  My Uncle Pete loved to play Euchre so I made him a “Go it alone” hand and have that with his funeral program.

Temporary or permanent it’s a good practice to start your magic with your ancestors; they have your back!